What is this?

Look carefully at those "Terms and Conditions" windows that pop up when you install software:
Some have strange and really restrictive phrases!

An End User Licence Agreement (EULA) is one of those things that pops up on your screen
when you install a new program(me) on a computer, or even before you "sign in" to use
a service on the wwweb.
Some are called "terms and conditions", "licence agreement" or something similar.
You probably cannot install some software without clicking on a button that has "I agree"
or something like that on it.

I quote them as they are, then placed my comments in double brackets, like some people use in chat rooms.
Anyway, for your amusement, EULA supreme!

"Digital Rights Management (Security).  You agree that in order to protect the integrity of content and software protected
by digital rights management ("Secure Content"), Microsoft may provide security related updates to the OS Components that
will be automatically downloaded onto your computer.
These security related updates may disable your ability to copy and/or play Secure Content and use other software on your computer.
 If we provide such a security update, we will use reasonable efforts to post notices on a web site explaining the update."

((Other software?  Does that include other media players, or say, Adobe Acrobat Reader or even software that I bought?))

"Free Web Page does not allow:"
"Pornographic content or direct links to pornographic web sites"
"Any content that is considered inappropriate at the sole discretion of Free Web Page"

((Inappropriate? Who works out what is inappropriate?  Maybe if a page has information of a food that
Free Web Page staff detest?))

"We do NOT notify prior to terminating an account. Also, if your account gets terminated, 
signing up again will be grounds for another termination.

Free Web Page reserves the right to delete any page at any time for any reason or
no reason at all."

((No reason at all?  I hope everyone else gives the Free Web Page staff the same rights
for everything))

"For security and privacy reasons, in the event that a Member account is deleted, Free Web Page
is not obligated to disclose the reasons for the account deletion without a proper court-ordered
subpoena.
Additionally, Free Web Page does not keep notes on account deletions after they are terminated.
Once an account is terminated, all data/information on that account is deleted as well.
This is why it is important for a Member to perform regular backups of his/her data.

Free Web Page may terminate any Membership (and any and all related information, communications, 
postings, or Web pages) at any time, without notice, for conduct that violates local, state or
federal laws or regulations, these Terms of Service or other policies or guidelines set out by
Free Web Page elsewhere on the Site, or for material that Free Web Page in its sole discretion
believes is harmful to other Members, the business of Free Web Page, or other third-party
information providers.
Individuals who have had their Memberships terminated may not continue to utilize member
privileges in any manner or for any reason without the express written permission of Free Web Page.

b) Material concerning any software, information or other material that contains a virus,
corrupted data or any other harmful or damaging component."

((Concerning? So I cannot warn anyone about the latest computer worms, viruses or
  denial of service attacks))

"d) Material that is, in Free Web Page' view, grossly offensive to the Free Web Page Community,
including, but not limited to clear expressions of bigotry, racism, or other hate speech, or
threats of violence.

e) Pages that promote illegal activity and any promotion of or provision of instructions for
illegal activity."
((Hmm so we cannot encourage jaywalking))

"h) Material that"
"    (ii) is contrary to customary standards for material suitable for public display; and
    (iii) lacks serious literary, artistic, political, educational, or scientific value."

((And how many web pages have those factors?))

"p) Conduct that is deemed by Free Web Page, in its sole and absolute discretion, harmful to
Free Web Page, any third party content provider, or other individuals."

((Be careful about what you say to a friend in a cafe about anyone at all!))
((Finally:))

"We hope your enjoyment of Free Web Page's services and content will be enhanced by the
application of the Terms of Service outlined in this document. It is our belief that you
understanding of the guidelines that we have set forth will allow the Free Web Page
community to continue to be a place where each of us can prosper, grow, and enjoy ourselves
within an open and non-threatening environment. Thank you for taking the time to read the
Free Web Page Terms of Service and we hope you enjoy our services."

((Enjoyment the chance of arbitrary or unreasonable termination of a service?))

"10.4 COMPLIANCE WITH EXPORT CONTROL LAWS.  You acknowledge that Software is subject to the
export control laws and regulations of the United States ("U.S.") and agree to abide by those
laws and regulations.
Under U.S. law, the Software may not be downloaded or otherwise exported, reexported, or
transferred to restricted countries, restricted end-users, or for restricted end-uses.
The U.S. currently has embargo restrictions against Cuba, Iran, Iraq, Libya, North Korea,
Sudan, and Syria."
((Ah ))

"The lists of restricted end-users are maintained on the U.S. Commerce Department’s Denied
Persons List, the Commerce Department’s Entity List, the Commerce Department’s List of
Unverified Persons, and the U.S. Treasury Department’s List of Specially Designated Nationals
and Blocked Persons.
In addition, the Software may not be downloaded or otherwise exported, reexported, or
transferred to an end-user engaged in activities related to weapons of mass destruction.
Such activities include but are not necessarily limited to activities related to:
(1) the design, development, production or use of nuclear materials, nuclear facilities, or
    nuclear weapons;
(2) the design, development, production or use of missiles or support of missile projects; and
(3) the design, development, production, or use of chemical or biological weapons."
((Anyone work at a nuclear reactor or a really bad food place?))

"By downloading or using the Software, you are agreeing to the foregoing.
You are also warranting that you are not
  (i) located in, or a resident or national of, a restricted country;
 (ii) on any of the U.S. lists of restricted end-users; or
(iii) engaged in any activity related to weapons of mass destruction.  You understand that the
      requirements and restrictions of U.S. law as applicable to you may vary depending on the
      software downloaded and may change over time, and that, to determine the precise controls
      applicable to the software, it is necessary to refer to the U.S. Export Administration
      Regulations and the U.S. Foreign Assets Control Regulations."

((Ah ready aim, fire Zone Alarm back at the American pig-dogs! Maybe systems in the forbidden
  countries are prone to DOS attacks from the U S of A?  ))

"1.12. "You" (or "Your")  means an individual or a legal entity exercising rights under, and
       complying with all of the terms of, this License or a future version of this License
       issued under Section 6.1.
       For legal entities, "You" includes any entity which controls, is controlled by, or is under
       common control with You. For purposes of this definition, "control" means
   (a) the power, direct or indirect, to cause the direction or management of such entity, whether
       by contract or otherwise, or
   (b) ownership of more than fifty percent 50%) of the outstanding shares or beneficial ownership
       of such entity."

((Who am I again? Who are you? Are your parents and children "you" too?))
((Anyone else spot the recursion?))

"c) You may only use the Software for your private, non-commercial use.
You may not use the Software in any way to provide, or as part of, any commercial service or
application.
Copies of content files, including, but not limited to songs and other audio recordings,
which are downloaded or copied using the Software, and which are protected by the copyright
laws or related laws of any jurisdiction, are for your own personal use only and may not be
distributed to third parties or performed outside your normal circle of family and social
acquaintances."

((Scenario:  I use Realpalyer to play Music CDs that I own legall.  A friend brings someone
  I have never met and that new person can hear the music.  That's an offence?  How can that
  be enforced?))

  Realplayer 8